yellow as ever, baby!!

Yesterday, driving down the Mai Kolachi I was stopped by SHO Raffique and was asked to pull over to the curb. You see, having been in the passenger seat many a time when the awkward gesticulation of multiple police officers had been disdainfully ignored followed by appropriate gesticulation on the part of the driver, I was half tempted to lower the window and say something befitting the situation, something appropriate and worthy of the circumstances at the time but you see… I had done nothing wrong, I hadn’t been speeding and I hadn’t run a red light, so more out of curiosity that anything else, I complied, pulled over to the curb, lowered the window and spoke, ‘Jee sir?’
The details of what ensued are irrelevant. I’ll tell you the gist, I’ll tell you the end. The car that I was driving, a Pajero Mini bought from some officer of the Sind police has tints on the rear two windows. These tints were not pasted by the officer of the Sind police, nor were they pasted by me. These tints were pasted by some slant eyed diligent middle class male working in Mitsubishi Motors, Japan. What I’m trying to say is that the car was manufactured with the tints. They cannot be removed and there is nothing that can be done about them. I was fined, regardless.
Of late, I am convinced that my country and my eventual service to this nation comes before all other things. I have explosive notions in my head, revolutionary and potentially life altering urges that I am daring myself to entertain… but don’t, just can’t. I am pulled in too many directions… ‘like too little butter spread on too much bread…’ I cannot say that the incident above is not discouraging. It is. I cannot dismiss it as a policemen ‘just doing his job’. He was looking for a quick buck, for bribe. I never offered, so I was fined. Still, I love this country. I’d sooner die than settle for anything less.
Throughout life, we play it safe. We do this because it is what is expected of us, it is what guarantees an approval from relevant quarters. It is what guarantees the degrees, the job, the wife, the kids, the cars, the house and the lifestyle. Why? Why play it safe if what you want is not on this list? Our deeds here on earth shall echo in eternity. Then what of my deeds? What of yours?
The thing about me is that I am easily inspired. Easily inspired, not easily swayed. There is a difference. But I’m not capricious and never ambivalent. I may be easily inspired but I shall stay inspired. In the past I have devoted myself to ideals even when ideals, for whatever reason have not devoted themselves to me… I saw it in the incident that happened yesterday with the police officer… and I have seen it before, maybe once or twice, maybe more… but my resolve will not wear thin. You see, I have cholera dreams in my infected head.